


Playlist

by Shuichi77



Category: Loveless
Genre: Comedy, Drama, F/F, Gen, M/M, Romance, Songfic, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-01
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2017-11-28 09:07:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shuichi77/pseuds/Shuichi77
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of short songfics inspired by some of my favorite songs. Also accepting requests!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolouge

SO! This is a project that I have wanted to start for a while now and have decided that now is the time!

So, this will be a series of one shots/drabbles that will all be inspired by a song. They won't have any connection to each other and will involve several different parings. I have rated the entire series as M because the stories will most likely range across all ratings but I will give each chapter its appropriate rating at the beginning of each chapter.

I would also really really like for this series to be "take on all comers" challenge. Meaning….Have a song that you would like to inspire a story? Then just send me a message or review with your request and I will write it and add it to the series. If you do have a request please just include the song name and artist and if you any characters or pairings that you would like to see along with it; if you don't have any preference than just say so. ^_^ I will also very happily take requests for a few other fandoms as well, if i get requests from other fandoms I will post them in thier correct place under the same story title. Fandoms I will take requests for besides Loveless: Gravitation, Soul Eater and Death Note.

Well that's about it. I hope you all enjoy this series and I look forward to any challenges. ^_^


	2. To Write Love on His Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok! First story in the series!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't won Loveless or any of the characters.
> 
> Rating: T
> 
> Song: "The Way She Feels" By Between the Trees

"AH! Mom stop it!"

"What have you done with my Ritsuka?! Bring him back to me!"

"Mom I am Ritsuka! How many times do I have to tell you that?!"

"Shut up! You lie!"

Ritsuka then quickly threw his hands in front of his face to shield it from a large glass vase that was now hurdling towards him. He luckily was able to avoid it without injury and it simply fell to the ground and shattered into pieces. The distraught woman then finally collapsed to the ground in tears as she usually did after one of these all too regular fits; and as usual, Ritsuka took that as his cue to quietly slip away upstairs to his bedroom. Once he made it safely to his room, the small cat eared boy made sure to lock his door before walking solemnly to his bed. He sat down on the edge of the small twin bed with his head hung low and small tears streaming down his red cheeks.

"Why…why does this happen to me? All I do is hurt everyone around me…Mother, father and Seimei all hate me…Why? What have I done? What is wrong with me? I even hurt the people I care about…I always make Yuiko cry…and I always push Soubi away. Soubi…"

As he vented aloud to himself, all alone in his small room, he quickly found himself thinking only of the tall blonde. He then placed his small hands over his face and began sobbing uncontrollably as he thought of all the times he had caused Soubi pain; all the times that he had yelled at him, all the times he shoved him away, all the times he had gotten hurt because of him. All of these thoughts consumed him and he felt nothing but agony. He wished so desperately for some sort of relief from this pain.

He then slowly lifted his head from his hands, wiping away angry tears as he did, and stood from his bed to walk over to his large dresser. He opened up the top drawer to find dozens of scattered pictures of himself and Soubi. He had hoped that this would bring him relief but it only brought on more tears as he came to the realization that Soubi, being the way he was, would always come to his rescue, always come to protect him even if he would get hurt in the process. Ritsuka then let out a staggered sigh through his sobs and pushed all the pictures aside until he found the small pocket knife that lay at the very bottom of his drawer.

"S-Soubi…you would be better off if you had never met me…everyone would…."

He then gently gripped the small knife and flipped it open. Then with shaky hands and eyes full of tears, he pressed it firmly to the soft skin of his left wrist and slowly but gently dragged it across the skin.

"Ah…"

Ritsuka was a little surprised by the amount of blood dripping from the somewhat shallow cut he had just made but was more surprised at how little it had hurt.

"M-maybe it really is better this way…"

Ritsuka, now full of despair, again placed the knife against his wrist in the spot just above the first cut and this time pressed down much harder as he pulled it along.

"AH!"

This time Ritsuka bit down on his lip at the pain as the knife cut deep and the blood quickly began flowing and trickling down his arm and down to stain the floor in a steady flow. He then began crying hysterically as he finally made up his mind to end the suffering, not only his own but the suffering that he caused to everyone around him. He shifted the knife from one shaky hand to the other and swiftly made another deep cut through the veins on his other wrist before letting the knife slide out of his hands and onto the floor.

"Mother…You won't ever have to see  _this_  Ritsuka ever again, I hope that you can finally find closure in this….Yuiko, I won't ever make you cry ever again…"

Ritsuka then collapsed to the floor, the entire room seemed to be spinning and his vision was beginning to blur and get darker. He soon curled up as best he could in attempt to feel comfort one last time despite the fact that he was now laying in an ever growing pool of crimson. He then tried desperately to get out all of his apologies and farewells before everything went completely black.

"S-Soubi…I…I'm sorry I never told you…j-just how much I…l-love you…."

Ritsuka could then feel that it was getting harder and harder and to keep his eyes open and he felt his whole body growing cold. Even though he had hoped for so much more from his life, he took some kind of happiness in the fact that no one would have to suffer on his account any longer. He then closed his eyes and accepted his decision and prepared to embrace the looming darkness.

Out of the cold darkness, Ritsuka suddenly felt a familiar warmth that caused him to slowly open his eyes. When he did however, he was surprised to see that the warmth was not coming from the relief of death but from two strong arms being tightly wrapped around him.

"S-Soubi…?"

"Ritsuka….Why?!"

The boy then gathered the last of his strength to look up at the blonde whose eyes were full of tears, with tear filled eyes of his own.

"I…I don't want to make any one s-suffer anymore…"

"Ritsuka…how can you think that you make anyone suffer? This…." Soubi then gently placed a large hand over Ritsuka's bleeding wrist and began to cry more deeply. "This makes me hurt Ritsuka…this will hurt Yuiko and Yayoi and everyone else that loves you. Ritsuka…you are so special to so many people, you are so special to me…how can you not see that?"

"S-Soubi….I…I'm s-sorry…."

"Shhh Ritsuka…I will absolutely not let you slip away…I will not let you die here."

Soubi then quickly ripped off several pieces of his baby blue shirt and tied them tightly around the cuts on Ritsuka's wrist to try and stop the bleeding. He then pulled the small boy into his lap and lifted his delicate limp arms and placed them so that they were resting high on his shoulders.

"We need to keep your wrists above your heart to stop the bleeding. Please hold on Ritsuka….please…"

This whole time Ritsuka had never taken his eyes off of Soubi's and now as he lay in their in the blondes lap he finally realized that this was what love really was. As he looked up into Soubi's crying eyes, for the first time in his life he felt like someone needed him and he now saw his life as something meaningful through Soubi's eyes. He wanted to live…for himself, for his friends….for Soubi.

"S-Soubi…I promise…I won't go anywhere….I…I love you Soubi"

 


	3. Loose Lips Sink Ships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so for the sake of this story, Ritsuka and Soubi are both in High school. Ritsuka is 16 and Soubi is 18.
> 
> Rating: T
> 
> Song: "Everybody Talks" by Neon Trees.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> \-----------X

"Ritsuka...Ritsuuuuka...Ritsuka!"

"Huh? What?" The small black haired boy was finally snapped out of a rather blissful daydream after several attempts by the bubbly pink haired girl seated next to him.

"You were really zoned out there Ritsuka-kun. What are you daydreaming about?" Ritsuka then looked over to her and let out a long sigh before averting his gaze back to the large window of the school cafeteria.

"Nothing..."

"You know...you really aren't a very good liar. You have been like this for weeks, so what is it that you are always thinking about?"

Ritsuka then let out another frustrated sigh knowing that Yuiko would really never let up. He then figured he needed to tell someone anyway; he thought maybe it would make him feel better too. He then whipped his head around in all directions to make sure that nobody else in the large cafeteria was within ear shot.

"Well...I've been thinking about someone...someone I really like."

"Awww really?! Who is it?!" Ritsuka then blushed slightly with his small cat ears pressed back against his head as he leaned in extremely close to Yuiko to make extra sure no one over heard him.

"I really like Agatsuma senpai..." The pink haired girl then let out a loud squeal as she threw her arms around her short friend.

"Ritsuka-kun is so cute! Why don't you tell him that you like him?" Ritsuka then did his best to cover the girls loud mouth before the entire school heard her.

"I can't do that; he is a senior and I'm just a freshman. Besides, I don't even think he likes boys and even if he did, he could have anyone he wanted. He would never even give me a second look."

"Well it would be kind of hard to even get to him through all the girls in his fan club that follow him around constantly, but you are the cutest boy in our whole class. You should at least give it a try." Ritsuka then let out a long depressed sigh and placed his head in his hands in a pout.

"No, I would just be making a fool of myself."

"If you say so Ritsuka-kun..."

The duo then finished up their lunch before the bell rang signaling that it was time to return to class. They both got up from their table and Yuiko gave the boy a consoling hug.

"It'll be ok Ritsuka."

"Yeah...just please don't tell anyone."

"I promise I won't. My lips are sealed."

"Thank you."

With that, the two parted ways and each headed toward their own respective classrooms for the next period. Ritsuka made his way leisurely to his math class, which happened to be his absolute favorite subject and the class he looked forward to the most, while Yuiko headed to her psychology class that she was failing miserably. After three minutes the next bell rang signifying that the current class period had begun right as Ritsuka was taking his usually seat in his classroom. By the time the teacher had begun her lecture for the day, Ritsuka had already found himself lost in his thoughts once again. It seemed like no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't keep his mind off of the tall beautiful blonde that was the well-deserved star of the senior class.

'Man…Agatsuma-san is so cool…and he is so smart…and that smile...'

Somehow through his daydream Ritsuka suddenly felt his face grow warm and he quickly realized that he was blushing wildly. He then did his best to just focus on class and get through the day. After taking a few deep breathes he was finally able to concentrate on the lesson and the rest of the period seemed to go by quickly; before he even knew it the bell was ringing once again to send all the students to their next class. Ritsuka then quickly gathered his things and made his way out of the room in a hurry to meet Yuiko so that they could walk to their next class together as they always did. As he made his way down the crowded hallway a flash of golden blonde hair suddenly caught the corner of his eye. He whipped his head around to stare in awe at the gorgeous Agatsuma Soubi who was walking along in the opposite direction of him, followed closely by the gaggle of senior girls that was always surrounding him. Ritsuka didn't even notice that he had completely stopped walking as the blonde passed by, hoping with all his heart that the blonde would even just look in his direction; but as usual he went completely unnoticed by the tall senior. He then let out a disappointed sigh and continued on his way. As soon as he continued on however, Ritsuka began getting a very strange feeling as if everyone was watching him. He subtly looked all around him as he walked and realized that in fact there were several small groups of students sneaking glances and small giggles at him as he passed by. Ritsuka was completely confounded by this but wasn't given any time to think about it as he almost literally ran into his pink haired friend.

"Hey Ritsuka-kun. Daydreaming again?"

Ritsuka just gave her a small nervous laugh before the two began walking toward their English class that they shared together. They walked together in silence as Ritsuka did his best to try and shake the weird feeling he was getting from everyone around him. He then looked over to Yuiko and found it odd that she was being so quiet; she was normally talking his ear off by now.

"Yuiko…is something wrong." The girl lowered her ears slightly and let out a small sigh.

"Kind of…"

"Well what's the matter?"

"Well…you know those two transfer students in my psychology class?"

"Youji and Natsuo?"

"Yeah."

"What about them?"

"Well today in class I overheard them talking about…Ritsuka-kun having a crush on Agatsuma senpai." Ritsuka's heart skipped a beat upon hearing this and he stopped dead in his tracks in the hallway.

"W-what?" Yuiko then began to panic slightly at the sight of Ritsuka, who looked like he might faint.

"I'm so sorry Ritsuka-kun! They must have overheard you in the lunch room earlier. I'm sure it will be fine though; I don't think they have a whole lot of friends so I don't think they will tell anyone." Ritsuka remained perfectly still and silent in shock as his mind raced with fears.

'This can't be happening! Is that why everyone has been whispering as I pass by?! What if Agatsuma-san finds out?! He and everyone else will probably laugh at me. This is a disaster…' Ritsuka was then forced out of his daze by the feeling of a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Ritsuka…it will be ok." Ritsuka then let out a long sigh before finally moving his legs and continuing to walk to class with Yuiko close in toe.

"I hope you're right."

The rest of the school day seemed to fly by and before Ritsuka knew it the bell was once again ringing to release the students for the day. He and Yuiko both gathered their things and stepped out into the hallway. Once outside the door Ritsuka let out a deep breath.

"I'm glad this day is finally over."

"Me too."

The duo then began walking leisurely toward the large courtyard in front of the school building. All the while Ritsuka did his best to ignore the seemingly growing number of people whispering as they passed by; he tried his hardest to convince himself that they weren't talking about him and that he was just being paranoid. On their way out of the building, they made a stop in one of the hallways at the small locker in which Yuiko kept her things. They stood in the hallway chatting for a few minutes until Ritsuka suddenly saw the object of his affection appear from around the corner behind Yuiko, causing him to stop mid-sentence. This time he wasn't just staring helplessly at the blonde, this time the senior was looking at him. Ritsuka's eyes immediately grew wide and his cheeks began to flush when the blonde gave him a very deliberate glare from over his small round glasses.

"Ritsuka-kun….what's the matter?" Yuiko went unanswered as Ritsuka remained completely frozen. She then turned around to see what had gotten her friend so shaken up. She then saw the blonde begin to walk in their direction so she quickly turned back to Ritsuka and grabbed gently onto one of his arms in a desperate attempt to snap him out of his daze.

"Ritsuka! Snap out of it." She then gave him a small shake that finally got his attention. By the time he came too however, the blonde was already standing right in front of him.

"Hello Aoyagi-kun." The blonde's tone was very cool and he almost didn't have any expression at all. Ritsuka then quickly bowed his head both out of respect to an upper classman and to hide his bright red cheeks.

"H-hello Agatsuma senpai." The blonde then finally showed some emotion as he smiled at the boy in front of him.

"Please, call me Soubi."

"O-ok…Soubi; Oh and uh you can call me Ritsuka….I-if you want."

"Alright then Ritsuka." Soubi then turned his head to smile at the equally stunned pink haired girl that was now standing next to Ritsuka. "Who is your friend?"

"Oh! This is Hawatari Yuiko." Yuiko gave a nervous smile and a slight wave to the tall blonde.

"Nice to meet you Agat…I mean, Soubi." This made Soubi laugh slightly which made the duo in front of him feel even more inferior.

"Nice to meet you as well. Now, Miss Hawatari, would you mind terribly if I had a moment with Ritsuka?" Ritsuka quickly gave Yuiko a glare trying desperately to silently beg her to stay, out of fear of being alone with Soubi. His efforts were fruitless however as she quickly closed her locker, picked up her things and practically ran toward the main entrance of the building.

"Bye Ritsuka-kun! See you tomorrow!" Yuiko waved fervently to her friend as her voice and image trailed off into the distance. Now that he was alone with Soubi, Ritsuka's mind was racing and his heart felt as though it might pound out of his chest.

"So Ritsuka…" Ritsuka swallowed hard and prepared for the worst as the blonde spoke to him with a now very serious face. "I wanted to ask if you would mind accompanying me to my home; there is something I would like to talk to you about." Ritsuka was absolutely terrified by this but was far too stunned to argue.

"Um sure."

"Wonderful." The blonde them gave Ritsuka a warm smile and turned to walk out of the building with the other boy following right by his side.

After leaving the school grounds the two walked side by side in absolute silence and Ritsuka kept his gaze fixed firmly on the ground as he tried to calm his mind. After a relatively short walk, the boys arrived at Soubi's small studio apartment. Ritsuka followed him quietly up to the door and waited patiently while the blonde unlocked it. The blonde then opened the door and quickly entered with Ritsuka still close in toe. Once inside, Soubi took of his shoes and placed them neatly by the door while Ritsuka stood perfectly still in the entry way.

"Please make yourself at home Ritsuka-kun."

"Oh! Thank you." Ritsuka then took his shoes off as well and followed behind Soubi while looking all around the small apartment. It was very conservatively decorated with only a few paintings of butterflies adorning the walls and the living room and kitchen dining area both had minimal furniture. It appeared as though no one else lived there which Ritsuka found to be slightly odd.

"Would you like anything to drink Ritsuka?"

"No thank you."

"Alright then. Please, have a seat." The blonde then motioned to the small couch that sat against the back wall of the living room. Ritsuka did as he was told and sat nervously at one end of the couch while Soubi sat at the other. Once the blonde sat down, Ritsuka started to feel as though he could relax a little; the atmosphere seemed to just feel a little lighter for some reason.

"So Soubi…do you live here by yourself?"

"Yes I do."

"Wow…that must be nice."

"I do rather enjoy it; although it does get lonely sometimes. I don't have very many people that I call friends, so I spend most of my time alone." Ritsuka couldn't believe that Soubi, uncrowned prince of the school, didn't have any friends. The idea actually brought him great sadness; it weighed heavy on his heart to look over and see the face that was smiling at him not so long ago now filled with a subtle sadness.

"R-really? You are so popular at school and everyone really likes you…seems hard to believe that you don't have that many friends."

"If you are referring to that horrid band of girls that follow me everywhere, they are most certainly not my friends; I find them extremely annoying actually." Ritsuka couldn't help but to let out a small giggle at this, picturing in his mind the looks on their faces if they ever knew such a thing.

"I wasn't referring to them; I guess I just assumed that you would have lots of friends. I mean, you are the best student in whole school, you are warm hearted, friendly…" Ritsuka then quickly noticed that he was saying too much and was once again blushing so he tried to save himself as best he could. "Well I mean that's what I've heard anyway…" Soubi then gave a gorgeous smile, unnoticed to Ritsuka, at the sight of the boy blushing and averting his gaze.

"Well there are reasons why I don't have many people close to me." Ritsuka then looked up from the floor with a concerned expression.

"Like what?"

"Rumors mostly."

"Rumors?"

"Yes…about my family, my background, my lifestyle, my love life. It seems as though the less people know about a person, the more they feel the need to talk about them and make their own assumptions, regardless of their validity." There was then a short pause from the blonde before he turned to stare directly into Ritsuka's wide purple eyes. "Which is actually what I wanted to talk to about."

"W-what exactly did you want to talk about…?" Soubi then gave Ritsuka a very serious glare and pressed his blonde ears firmly down against his head.

"How is it you feel about me Ritsuka?" Ritsuka's stomach sank as soon as the words left Soubi's mouth. He was dreading this moment and even though he knew it was coming, he was at a complete loss as to what to say. He was completely torn as to whether to lie or tell the truth out of fear for what Soubi's reaction might be.

"U-um….what do you mean Soubi…" The blonde then intensified his glare making Ritsuka begin to quiver slightly

"Well…I'm sure you know of our transfer students, the Sagan brothers."

"Y-yes."

"Well they are two of my few close acquaintances and they informed me today that…" Ritsuka now feel his heart beat all the way up in his head and he was already expecting the worst. "…You hated me."

"What?!" Ritsuka absolutely couldn't believe what he was hearing. He couldn't even begin to try and figure out how everything went from him just telling Yuiko about his crush, to said crush being told that he hated him. Ritsuka wished with all his heart in that moment that high school wasn't full of so much talk and rumors that always just gets in the way of reality. He was then stirred from his shock when he saw the blonde next to him lower his head with ears now pressed down out to the side and pull his long fluffy tail into his lap, stroking in softly.

"So it's true then?" It absolutely broke Ritsuka's heart to see Soubi this way and he finally took a deep breath and decided to tell the truth.

"No, that isn't true." The blonde then looked over at him with sad pleading eyes.

"Then how do you feel about me…?"

"Well…um…" Ritsuka then took another deep breath and relaxed his whole body, finally feeling as though he had nothing to lose in being honest.

"The truth is….I really like you Soubi. Ever since I first saw you I thought you were so beautiful and then I started watching you more every time I saw you in the hallways. I was always hoping just to catch a glimpse of your smile…I really love your smile, it really is addicting. But you are a senior and I am just a freshman…and besides that, I am a boy; so I decided that I was happy just being able to watch you from afar than to risk telling you any of this and having you hate me. I know it's weird and I'm sure you think I'm a freak but…even though I don't really know anything about you…I still really like you Soubi." There was then a small silence while Soubi let all of the boy's confession sink in and while Ritsuka was trying to come to terms with the fact that he had actually just said all that. Finally after a few minutes Ritsuka watched as Soubi scooted a little closer to him on the small couch before looking at him with the most beautiful face he had ever seen.

"Ritsuka…is all this really true." Ritsuka then blushed wildly at this question but this time did not avert his gaze.

"Y-yes. I'm really so-"

Ritsuka's words were abruptly cut off when the blonde took his head delicately in one of his large hands and firmly pressed his lips against his own. Ritsuka's eyes grew wide in shock that this was actually happening but they soon fluttered closed as warm butterflies began to fill his stomach. Once Soubi was sure that the younger boy wasn't going to shove him away, he took his free hand and placed it on the small of Ritsuka's back and pulled the boy much closer so that their torsos were now pressed together. The sudden movement jostled about the already fierce butterflies in Ritsuka's stomach and caused him to open his mouth slightly to moan softly into their kiss. Soubi, being much more experienced, took advantage of this and nimbly slipped his tongue into Ritsuka's mouth, exploring every crevice and reveling in the wonderfully sweet taste. Ritsuka then let out another, slightly louder, moan into the blonde's mouth sending blissful vibrations through their kiss. The two then finally broke away for air and were now staring into each other's bright red faces and panting slightly from the lack of oxygen. After they both caught their breathe, Soubi ran one of his hands through the smaller boys soft jet black hair and the sensation sent shivers down Ritsuka's spine.

"Ritsuka…the truth is that I have liked you ever since the day you started school, but I always saw you with Miss Hawatari…and everyone that I spoke to told me that you two were together, so I took the cowards approach and just did my best to avoid you. But today….when I heard that you hated me…I was so heartbroken; but I knew that I had to find out for myself." Ritsuka was now gazing deeply into those ocean blue eyes and he could only pray that this wasn't a dream.

"Soubi…D-do you really feel that way?"

"I do, with all my heart. We may both be boys and years apart in age, but I don't care about any of that. I hardly know anything about you either and I can't explain it but ever since I first laid eyes on you I knew that…I loved you Ritsuka." Then all of the butterflies within Ritsuka began to flutter and grow until he felt as though he might burst. He then flung his arms around the blonde's neck and captured him a tender passionate kiss before releasing him to once again gaze into those eyes.

"I…love you too Soubi."

 


	4. Shout to the Lost Boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty! So this one is a little different, it is inspired by two songs. Enjoy!
> 
> Rating: T
> 
> Songs: "Warrior" By Ke$ha, and "Bangarang" By Skrillex

" _We are Zero. Born to feel no pain…to fight until the end…"_

"Youji! Natsuo!"

Ritsuka quickly jumped up from the table to rush over to the two boys that had just stumbled through the door, covered in cuts and dripping blood onto the hard wood floor of the apartment they shared with Soubi and Ritsuka.

"We are fine. We can't feel it, remember?" The blue haired boy's tone was firm yet agitated as he spoke while holding firmly onto his Sentouki's hand.

"I know! But you can still bleed to death. Sit down, 'll be right back." Both boys did as they were told and sat down at the small kitchen table next to Soubi, who was calmly sipping on a glass of tea, while Ritsuka disappeared into another room.

"Out picking fights again?"

"No! Natsuo and I were provoked this time. We were just defending ourselves, but it was good practice all the same."

"Who was it?"

"Those pesky little brats from the academy, Breathless." Soubi couldn't help but chuckle slightly at the pouting tone and face that Youji was making.

"Well…how did it go then?" The smaller red head then cut in to answer the blonde's question.

"We won of course. They have challenged us eight times now and they haven't won once; they really are hopeless."

"They have potential; their bond is very strong."

"Yeah yeah, whatever."

"So if you won, how did you both get so beat up?" Youji then interjected with an irritated tone.

"Well I got cut up from the restraints, they did manage to land a few attacks this time; but Natsuo got attacked by Midori." Soubi paused in slight shock for a moment at this.

"Really? They have never really been the type to be physically violent."

"Yeah well they were going on and on about how strong their bond is and that's what gives them strength and we finally got tired of hearing that crap so Natsuo threw a bottle at Ai. That's what pissed Midori off so bad."

"I see…I'm assuming you two fought back. Are they alright? No nails this time at least?"

"Ha ha very funny Soubi, how many times do we have to apologize for that? They are fine, the bottle missed anyway and it only took one hit for Natsuo to knock Midori out."

"Well it's good to see you two are learning restraint."

"Yeah I guess." Ritsuka then reemerged carrying several rolls of bandages and gauze. He quietly sat down next to Youji and began tending to his wounds first, seeing as they were much worse than Natsuo's and the blue haired boy was already growing increasingly pale from blood loss.

"You know…this is the third time this week that you two have come home like this." Youji gave a small sneer to the boy wrapping up his hands at this comment.

"Yeah, so what?"

"Well…I guess I just don't understand you guys sometimes." Youji then lowered his ears slightly so that they were resting down and out to the side of his head, almost blending in with his long hair.

"You wouldn't understand Ritsuka. We can't really help it; we have always been this way, ever since we were little…." Youji's tone then shifted to be uncharacteristically serious. "I think it's because we can't feel the pain. Even when we were kids we used to go out looking for fights or getting in trouble. It's like a fire that burns within every fiber of our being…we love to fight, it's who we are." Ritsuka then finished wrapping the bandages on the last of Youji's wounds and scooted over to be propped up in front of the red head who immediately continued where Youji stopped speaking; Ritsuka always found it amazing just how in tuned the two were to each other, they really could finish each other's sentences if they wanted.

"That's half of it at least…" Ritsuka then looked up from Natsuo's arms where he was placing bandages to look the boy in the face with a genuinely concerned expression.

"What's the other half?" Soubi thought about answering this question for a moment, but decided it was best to let Natsuo continue; he thought it might actually help the boy to say it out loud. The red head let out a long sigh before finally answering.

"Well….lately, we have been starting battles and taking on all challenges because we are preparing." Ritsuka perked his ears up in curiosity at this.

"Preparing for what?"

"To fight the Zero girls." Ritsuka was honestly a little surprised at this. He knew that they were not very happy about losing a battle to them but he had no idea that they took it that hard.

"So you want to challenge them…"

"Yes. We need to beat them. They are the first generation of Zeroes and we are the second so we are supposed to be better than them…but when we first faced them, they made fools of us; they made it seem like just because they are older and the first generation they are better than us. We have even faced them a couple more times since then and still lost every time…" It was now taking all of Ritsuka's focus just to finish bandaging Natsuo up; he had never really heard either one of them open up about things like this so he was happy to get some insight into their feelings.

"So then you have been doing all this to beat them….well do you think you can do it?" Youji then quickly cut in at this.

"We can!" There was then a small pause and Youji once again got very gloomy and serious. "We have to…ever since they came along all they do is try to tear us down. They tell us that we are just delinquents and have no respect for spell battles and that our bond isn't true. But what the hell do they know?! Just because we still have our ears doesn't mean that our bond…our love…is any less than theirs." Soubi then stood from the table and patted Youji gently on the head.

"You are right; your bond to Natsuo is just as strong as any other, if not stronger." Youji seemed to ignore this comment and simply grabbed onto Natsuo's now bandaged hand with his own. "Well it's late, I'm going to bed. Are you coming Ritsuka?" Ritsuka gave an adamant nod before cleaning up the rest of the bandages and following Soubi toward their bedroom. He turned his head back just before they were out of sight to call back to the two boys still seated at the table.

"Try to get some rest you two and don't worry, I'm sure you guys can beat them no problem." Ritsuka then gave a large smile before disappearing into the bedroom.

Once they were alone, Youji and Natsuo decided to turn on the video game that they always played together to try to relax. They both made their way into the living room and turned on the small TV and game console before each of them picked up one of the remote controls. The duo sat quietly playing their game for about fifteen minutes before Youji finally spoke out.

"Natsuo! I told you we have to attack this boss at the same time, he throws those stupid boomerangs and if we only have one life left."

"I know I know!" The red head then let out a frustrated sigh as they started the level over.

About an hour past before the two finally began to feel tired and Youji let out a long yawn that caused Natsuo to do the same. They both then set down their controllers and shut off the game and TV before making up the bed that they slept on in the middle of the living room. Once everything was made up, they quickly crawled underneath the blanket and wrapped each other up in their arms. The dark room was completely silent until Youji whispered to his Sentouki.

"Natsuo…."

"What?"

"Do you think that maybe we are too reckless?"

"No. We only do what comes naturally; everyone else just hides their true natures away out of fear."

"Yeah…how are we going to beat them though? We may be faster but they are stronger and more experienced."

"Youji…since when do you doubt our abilities?"

"I don't know….I just really don't like losing to them, it pisses me off."

"Well…we will beat them. I'm not sure how, but we will. They are obsolete whether they like it or not. Now is our time to shine, we will prove to everyone that we aren't just some little kids livening in their shadow, we will show them that we are the better generation; and with you by my side, we can do anything." Youji couldn't help but to smile at his Sentouki's strength and determination; Natsuo may have been the quieter of the two but when they were alone like this, it was always Natsuo that proved to be the strong one.

"You're right. I love you Natsuo."

"I love you too Youji." With that the two boys, broken and bruised, fell asleep in each other's arms with smiles knowing that the love and bond they shared was unbreakable.

 

 

" _We are the lost boys…and we'll never give up."_

The next morning Natsuo woke up before anyone else in the house and was quick to wake his Sacrifice sleeping next to him.

"Youji…wake up."

"Mmmm.." The blue haired boy turned over in defiance but was quickly rolled back over by the red head and given a good shake.

"Wake up already!" Youji finally opened his eyes to give his Sentouki a rather fiery glare.

"Fine! I'm up. What's the big deal?"

"We are going to challenge those stupid girls today." This caused Youji to shoot up to a sitting position in a slight shock, considering that even though they have been practicing hard and have been winning their battles, they still haven't figured out how to beat the first generation Zeroes.

"What are you talking about Natsuo? I refuse to challenge them until we are sure we can win." The red head then gave a small smirk.

"I figured out how we are going to beat them."

"Yeah? And how is that?"

"You know that new spell we have been working on?"

"Yeah, the one that doesn't work."

"Well I finally figured it out. We have been using the wrong syllables."

"Well what is the correct way to go about using that spell then?" The red head then leaned in close to Youji and whispered the answer into his ear to make sure their housemates didn't happen to overhear them. Upon hearing what Natsuo had to say, Youji's eyes quickly filled with excitement and he leaped up from their bed and immediately began rummaging around to find something to wear.

"You really are genius Natsuo. They won't know what hit them!" Natsuo then quickly followed suit and it was only a few minutes before they were both fully dressed and walking out of the front door hand in hand.

"Natsuo, do you know where they are?"

"Well they are creatures of habit and they always go to the park on Thursdays, which is a perfect place to challenge them anyway."

"Right. So you're sure this will work?"

"Not entirely but I want to try. This is the only way to bring them down and prove that we are better…." There was then a small pause before Natsuo stopped to turn and face his Sacrifice. "It's time for a revolution Youji…and we are going to bring it to them. Are you sure are ready? You know that they won't go easy on us and they will probably try to get in our heads." Youji then leaned in to give the red head a quick tender kiss.

"Of course I'm ready. I love you Natsuo and nothing they say or do can change that. We may have messed up before but not this time; I know that all that will change today." Natsuo then gave a determined grin and a nod before they continued on toward the park.

Once they arrived at the park, the Zero girls weren't very hard to find and the boys very casually approached them. Despite the calm approach, as soon as Kouya and Yamato saw them they both jumped to their feet from where they were sitting in the grass.

"Youji…"

"Yamato…"

"Natsuo…"

"Kouya…" All four of them then shared a tense silence as they all exchanged glares before Kouya finally spoke.

"What do you brats want?" Natsuo then turned to his partner with a smirk.

"You want to get straight to the point Youji?" Youji happily returned the sinister grin and gave a firm nod. "Right then…we declare this to be a battle of spells!" Kouya gave a small laugh at this.

"You two must really like getting beat. You sure you want to do this?"

"We already challenged, are you going to accept or not?" This only made Kouya mad and she quickly jumped back and took a wide stance with Yamato standing firmly behind her.

"We Accept! Sentou systems engage!" Natsuo then took a slightly more relaxed stance with Youji right by his side.

"Sentou systems engage!" With that, the large battle radius quickly expanded and the battle had begun.

" _Rip! Tear the enemy to shreds!"_ Kouya was the first to attack at lightning speed and her words sent waves of blue light flying towards the small boys.

" _Defense! Nothing can reach us!"_ Natsuo's defense came just as quick and a large glowing bubble surrounded them just in time to block the attack. Natsuo then gave another smirk.

"Our turn…. _Shatter! Rain destruction upon our enemy!"_  This spell caused all the light posts within the radius to shatter and send shards of glass towards the Zero girls.

" _Deflect! Send away the attack!"_ A large shock wave then radiated from the girls that clashed with the shards of glass and sent them flying in all directions before landing harmlessly on the ground. Kouya then relaxed her stance slightly, feeling as though this was an easy battle, which thoroughly pissed off the fiery red head.

"Don't relax just yet…. _Absolute Zero! Freeze the enemy to the core!"_  The entire battle radius then began to fill with snow and both teams could see their breath in the now frigid air.

"You really think that is going to work on us? We aren't that stupid! Soubi may have beaten you with that spell but it won't defeat us!  _Incinerate! Melt away all this pesky snow and bring back the warmth!"_ This caused a large glowing red bubble to surround the girls that quickly turned all the snow into droplets of water that fell to the ground at their feet. Youji and Natsuo then both gave each other another sinister grin before breaking out in hysterical laughter.

"Stupid girls, you actually fell for it!" This actually seemed to fluster Kouya a bit and she began to panic slightly.

"What are you talking about?!"

" _Electrify! Bring the lightning!"_  Kouya had no time to defend and could only watch as Yamato braced herself for the impact of a lightning strike. Kouya was then shocked when the bolt of lightning didn't hit Yamato at all, but instead hit the ground several feet in front of them.

"Ha! You missed!" This caused both boys to laugh even more which in turn caused Kouya to look over to check on her Sacrifice. Her eyes grew wide in shock when she saw the busty blonde that had now acquired not one but two restraints around both of her wrists. She then looked back at the boys with a fierce glare silently demanding an explanation.

"We didn't miss. You turned the snow into water that your sacrifice is now standing in. Water conducts electricity so by hitting the water…we landed double damage." Kouya clenched her fists in anger at this; even though she knew Yamato wasn't in any pain, it pissed her off to even think about losing to the Zero boys.

"You damn brats!  _Demolish! Completely flatten the enemy!"_  This sent out a massive shockwave that raced quickly toward the boys.

" _Solidify! Strengthen all defenses!"_ Natsuo's words weren't quick enough and the attack easily broke through their previous defenses and the attack landed hard on the blue haired boy. Natsuo looked to his side to see that Youji now had a thick restraint around his neck with small trickles of blood running from underneath it and two restraints around his wrists.

"Youji! Can you breathe ok?" Youji was having a slightly hard time breathing with the collar clamped tightly around his neck but was able to calm himself enough to ease the pressure.

"Yeah…I'm fine. Do it now Natsuo!" The red head gave a happy smile at this and was very pleased to follow this order. He then turned to the girls in front of him and gave a sinister smile.

"You old hags have done it now…you won't be winning this time."

"Bring it on brat!"

"If you say so…" Natsuo then closed his eyes and slowly raised one of his hands and pointed out his index and middle finger toward the girls with his thumb pointed straight up in the air, imitating a gun. He stayed like that for a short moment, thoroughly confusing the two girls, before his eyes finally shot open as he pressed his thumb down as if firing his imaginary gun.

" _BANGARANG!"_

"W-what?!" Kouya then watched on in horror as an immense beam of light came shooting from the boy's fingers. Before Kouya could even utter a single syllable in defense, the beam of light struck Yamato right in the stomach and passed all the way through her causing her to immediately collapse to the ground coughing up blood, now in a full body restraint.

"Yamato!" Kouya then quickly rushed over to her Sacrifice and stood protectively over her limp body. She then looked around and became even more confused when she saw that the battle radius hadn't collapsed even though her Sacrifice was fully restrained. "W-what's going on?!"

"We aren't done yet." Kouya then began to shake in fear at what this could mean. Natsuo then began to laugh once again, both at the sight of the flustered girl and at the sight of what was behind her. "Here it comes!"

"W-what?!" Kouya then whipped around and was terrified to see that the same beam of light that had just decimated her Sacrifice was now racing towards her. She was completely helpless and couldn't even jump out of the way before the beam violently struck her in the stomach before disappearing. She then found herself completely restrained on the ground next to Yamato.

"Victory!" With that last word from the red head, the battle radius finally collapsed and all the restraints faded away from both teams. Once the radius collapsed, Youji brushed himself off and clasped his hand tightly to Natsuo's before they both walked over to the two girls that were now sitting in the ground panting heavily and still coughing up bits of blood. The boys then looked down condescendingly at the girls with huge grins on their faces.

"We told you the last time we battled that when we battled again we wouldn't go easy on you." Youji's tone was a very conceded and satisfied one. Kouya then looked up at him with fiery eyes.

"Cut the bullshit! Where did you learn that?!"

"None of your business."

"You two are still just a couple of brats with ears! You still don't understand what a true bond is!" This infuriated Youji and he quickly gripped onto the collar of Kouya's shirt and pulled her up off the ground slightly to speak to her face to face.

"We understand more than anyone what it means to be truly bonded to your partner…and if you ever say some shit like that again, we will make sure that you don't walk away from the next battle." He then dropped the girl onto the ground and she simply stared up at him with an angry scowl.

"Fine! Just get lost already. You won and I'm sure Nagisa won't ever let us live it down either. So can't you just be satisfied with that." The two boys then gave each other warm smiles.

"Yeah, we can."

Youji and Natsuo then turned and began their walk home hand in hand, leaving the girls to collect themselves alone in the park. As they walked, they couldn't stop smiling and couldn't have been happier. They had finally proven to themselves that weren't just 'those bad kids', they truly were the better generation, they were true warriors, and now the Zero girls would have to respect them. They may have been bloody and bruised once again and Ritsuka would surely give them an earful once they arrived home, but none of that could break their spirits today…or ever again.

 

" _We are Zero…the lost boys…this is who we have always been…this is who we will always be."_


	5. Heaven's Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright here we go again!
> 
> Rating: K-T
> 
> Song: "Don't You Worry Child" By Swedish House Mafia
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> -Shuichi77

Soubi awoke suddenly from his place in his large king sized bed upon the realization of an absence of warmth. He sat up and looked over to see that the young cat eared boy that had been sleeping next him was in fact no longer there. He then glanced at the clock on the nightstand to see that it was just after two o'clock in the morning. Filled with worry, he sprang from the bed still wearing his usual tight black jeans and quickly grabbed a shirt from his closet. He slipped the shirt on as he headed out the front door of the apartment, ready to begin his search for the missing boy. He did his best to quell his worry enough to think logically and think of where Ritsuka could have gone. He immediately ruled out his mother's home, knowing that Ritsuka now avoided that place at all costs. He then decided that the park was a good place to start so he began walking in that direction. As he walked, he couldn't help but let his mind fill with worry. It had been several months since Ritsuka had officially moved into his apartment and this hadn't been the first time since that he had woken up to find the boy missing. Up until this night however, Soubi usually found the boy asleep on the couch, the floor or even the roof on a few occasions. Soubi had been trying for weeks to get the boy to open up as to what was bothering him and affecting his sleeping habits but whenever he asked, he was always met with a cold indifference.

It wasn't long before Soubi reached the park where he had shared that very first fateful kiss with the boy he had come to love so much. Upon arriving, he began searching every inch of the small park; everywhere from the picnic area to the playground. Soubi's worry quickly began to grow when Ritsuka was nowhere to be found at the park; nevertheless he pressed on and began walking along the quiet road that lead away from the park. As he walked the road he took great care to look all around him for any sign of the boy and was slightly thankful that the moon was bright and full, aiding him greatly in his search. As Soubi came near to the small bridge in the road he looked up to the moon and gave a long sigh in frustration. He then thought that something had flickered in the moonlight and he quickly looked back toward the moon. This time he looked harder and there atop the large hill that looked over the crystal blue lake, he saw only a small pair of ears silhouetted in the moonlight. He then let out a long sigh of relief knowing that it had to be Ritsuka. Soubi did his best to calm his pounding heart as he quietly left the road and climbed the hill and as he drew closer he could make out the whole sight. He could now clearly see that Ritsuka was sitting on the very top of the hill with his knees pulled up to his chest and his unblinking gaze fixed upon the still water. He continued climbing slowly, not wanting to startle Ritsuka, until he was standing right behind the boy.

"So this is where you have been hiding." Ritsuka quickly spun his head around upon hearing the blonde's cool soft voice.

"S-Soubi? What are you doing here?" Soubi gave a small warm smile at this.

"I came to find you of course." Ritsuka couldn't help but to blush slightly at this gesture.

"Oh…I'm sorry…if I made you worry."

"No need for apologies, I always worry." Soubi then gave another smile before moving to sit down beside Ritsuka, mimicking his position exactly with the only exception being that Soubi pulled his knees not quite to his chest and had them spread slightly farther apart in a more relaxed state with his elbows resting on his knees. They both sat in silence for a few moments gazing out onto the water until Ritsuka suddenly started to speak in a quiet solemn voice.

"I still remember it exactly….like it was yesterday." Ritsuka spoke without his gaze ever leaving the water while Soubi turned to face him once he spoke. Soubi was slightly conflicted as to whether he should dig farther or not but eventually decided that it was worth a try.

"And what is it that?"

"That day…the day that everything changed…" There was a small pause from the boy but Soubi remained silent, wanting him to speak at his own pace.

"It happened right here, where we are sitting. I was only six but I remember it all so clearly. It was just before sunset and I had run away from home. Mother and father had been fighting and Seimei was off at camp, so I was all alone. This was the only place I wanted to come; I've always liked looking at the water when I'm upset, even back then. I came here and just stared at the water lapping onto the shore; I sat here for what felt like hours but it must have only been an hour or so. Then right as the sun was setting, I felt a large hand on the top of my head. I turned around and saw my father standing behind me. I looked up at him with a smile, thinking that he had come to bring me home, but his face was full of sadness. Then he crouched down to be face to face with me and he ruffled my hair with his hand like he always used to. Then he said to me…'Son, I'm going away for a while.' I didn't understand what he meant of course and I asked him where he was going and when he would come back. He said 'I'm going somewhere far away and I am not sure as to when I will return.' Then I saw a tear fall down his cheek, which was the only time I ever saw him cry. That's when I started to get scared and I started to cry. He then stood up and I panicked and stood and latched onto his legs while I cried. I said 'Please don't go daddy. Did I do something to upset you? I promise I'll never run away again, I'm sorry.' Then he smiled a kind of sad smile and pulled my face from his waist and wiped the tears from my eyes. Then he looked me in the eye and said, 'Don't worry my little Ritsuka, big brother will always protect you.'" There was then another short pause before Ritsuka finally turned his gaze from the water to look at Soubi, now with small tears filling his eyes.

"I didn't want him to leave though… I told him that I wanted him to stay and protect me. Then he got down on one knee to look me straight in the face with that sad smile and he said, 'My son, my dear Ritsuka, I know you don't understand it now but someday you will learn that everything in this world happens for a reason. It may be painful now but in time you will see that destiny has a plan for you, a great plan and everything in your life is just another step on your path of destiny.' At that point all I could do was cry more, I knew deep down right then that he wouldn't be coming back. He then held me close and let me cry on his shoulder until I couldn't cry anymore. Then he pulled me away and wiped the tears form my eyes again and said 'You are a strong boy Ritsuka, stronger than I am in fact, and now you have to look after mommy. Just remember that I'll always love you Ritsuka.' Then…he got up and walked away. That was the last time I ever saw him….that was the very first time my heart was broken." Soubi was in a complete daze as all of this sunk in. Ritsuka had never opened up to him like this and even Seimei never really knew exactly what happened to their father. He had no idea what he could even do or say but he stumbled through the words the best he could.

"Ritsuka…I…never knew. Is this what has been causing you so much trouble sleeping?" Ritsuka then wiped the few small tears from his eyes before replying.

"Yeah, I suppose so. I keep dreaming about that day."

"I'm sorry that you had to endure that…" Soubi was then slightly surprised when he saw a small smile cross the boy's face.

"I'm not sorry." Soubi was genuinely perplexed by this.

"What do you mean?"

"Well that night…after he left, I couldn't bring myself to go home right away so I stayed here on this hill. I looked up into the night sky as I cried some more then all of a sudden I saw a shooting star and I quickly made a wish."

"And what did you wish for?"

"Well I thought about wishing for father not to leave but…I didn't want to make him unhappy. I thought if he really needed to leave us then it must have been important so I couldn't do that to him. So I closed my eyes and I wished for the heavens to send me someone special. Someone that understood me, that cared about me, that would protect me forever, that would never leave my side; someone that I could love and would love me…like mother loved father. Then the weeks, months and years went by and for so long I was secretly angry that my wish never came true. Then when Seimei died, I cursed the gods for taking away the only thing precious to me. Then one night after Seimei died…I was looking at the stars and I asked why, why wasn't my wish granted? What did I do to deserve all of this? Then the next day…." Ritsuka then paused once again and turned his face away from Soubi slightly, but not before Soubi noticed that Ritsuka had gone bright red. "…You showed up at school. At first I really was confused and angered by you. But since I've been remembering that day…I've realized that…my wish was granted. The heavens did hear all my prayers and they sent me you. So if it hadn't been for father leaving, I would have never been sitting there and I would have never made that wish….I might not have ever been saved by you."

Soubi almost couldn't believe what he was now hearing. The boy that he had grown to love, that he always thought resented him, was now saying such things about him. Soubi then gave a wide grin and swiftly but gently pulled the boy by his arm, pulling him close and embracing him tightly, and captured his soft lips in a deep kiss; and for the first time Ritsuka didn't push him away but instead passionately kissed him back. Soubi then quickly stood from his place and in one swift movement picked the boy up, cradling him in his arms.

"Ritsuka…I will never leave your side. I will protect you from the world. As long as I am alive, nothing will ever hurt you. I love you Ritsuka." Ritsuka then blushed wildly and fought the urge to hide his face in Soubi's chest. He then looked up deeply into Soubi's eyes.

"I…I love you too Soubi."

 


	6. I'm Better in the End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! For this next track, we have fast forwarded nine years and young Ritsuka is now 21 (making Soubi 29).
> 
> Disclaimer for this short: If you aren't up to date on cannon then there are some spoilers in this short, so read at your own risk!
> 
> Rating: M
> 
> Song: "The Westerner" By Falling in Reverse
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> -Shuichi77-

" _Hello?"_

"Soubi, come get me."

" _Ritsuka?"_

"Yeah, now come get me."

" _Right away. Where are you?"_

"I'm at the clinic still."

" _I'll be there right away."_

"Good."

*click*

The, now not so small, cat eared boy roughly flipped his cell phone shut before leaning back against the cool stone of the large wall outside the clinic, and slowly slid down it until he was sitting on the concrete with his feet pulled in tight and his arms resting over his knees. He then let out a long sigh before letting his head droop down to stare at the ground, giving the appearance that he was deep in thought when in reality he was using a lot of energy to keep his mind completely blank as he waited for the tall blonde to arrive. His efforts were in vein however, as he found it increasingly difficult to keep his mind from wandering off into his memories of the previous four months. Ritsuka truly hated where he was now and had equally hated where he was and where he had been for those four months. The more he thought on it, the more frustrating it became until he was grinding his teeth slightly as memories and thoughts drifted in and out of his mind. Just as his thoughts became almost unbearable, much to his relief, a sleek black sports car pulled up right in front of him and the tall elegant blonde quickly stepped out to greet him with a wide smile and outstretched arms.

"Ritsuka! It's so wonderful to see you. You look great." As the blonde quickly approached, Ritsuka grabbed his small duffle bag before standing to his feet just in time to be caught in a warm embrace which he returned halfheartedly.

"Hey." Soubi then released the boy to look into his eyes with a joyous expression.

"I've missed you."

"Yeah…I've missed you too." Soubi was then a little hurt by Ritsuka's indifferent tone, but quickly dismissed it as stress from his long stay at the clinic.

"Well, are you ready to go home then?"

"Yeah."

"Alright then." Soubi then gently grabbed the duffle bag from his partner and carried it to the car before putting it in the trunk.

The duo then climbed silently into their respective sides of the car before Soubi started it up with a smile and began the drive home. The drive home, although completely silent, seemed very short to them both and it was no time at all until the car was rolling to a stop in front of the moderately sized one story home that the two had shared together for the past six years. Once the car had come to a complete stop, Ritsuka slowly stepped out of the car and took in a very deep breathe of the cool night air and then exhaled slowly with a great deal of relief that he was once again a free man. He was soon followed by Soubi, who already had his bag in hand, and they walked side by side up the drive way and through the front door of their home. Once inside, Ritsuka quickly slid off his shoes in the doorway before making a beeline for the small couch in the middle of their living room and plopping down into it, letting out a long sigh of relief as he did. Soubi couldn't help but to chuckle slightly at this sight, earning him a somewhat annoyed glare from the smaller boy.

"What's so funny?!" This annoyed outburst only made the blonde chuckle more.

"Sorry, you're just as cute as ever. It seems you're glad to be home though." Ritsuka fought off a slight blush at the blonde's first comment and simply closed his eyes and went back to relaxing before replying in his more normal calm tone.

"You have no idea…" Soubi then gave a small smirk at this before creeping over to the couch to place a sneaky kiss on his lover's forehead, causing him to open his eyes with a small smile.

"Would you like me to make some ramen?" This caused Ritsuka's smile to grow much to Soubi's pleasure.

"That sounds good."

"Alright, I'll get it started right now."

Soubi then sauntered away into the kitchen, leaving Ritsuka to relax on the couch. Ritsuka was in fact very much enjoying the sounds of normality that now surrounded him: the sound of his own shallow breathing, the quiet rumble of water boiling and the scattered shuffling of Soubi's graceful movements as he prepared their diner. It was these small things that brought Ritsuka back into a feeling of true comfort that he hadn't felt in months. This peaceful state was short lived however as the sound of Soubi's voice broke the peace.

"Ritsuka! Diner's ready!"

"Ok!"

Ritsuka then took one last deep relaxing breathe before sluggishly pulling himself from the couch and heading into the kitchen where Soubi had already placed two steaming bowls at opposite ends of the kitchen table. They were both rather quick to sit down, having not eaten in a while, and dug in almost immediately.

"Mmm…this is really good Soubi. It feels like forever since I've had a decent meal." This caused a large satisfied grin to cross Soubi's face.

"I'm glad you like it."

The room then went silent as the duo continued eating peacefully. After a few moments however, Ritsuka's mind again began to wander; this time so much that he had stopped eating altogether and became trapped in his thoughts.

" _I believe it's your turn Mr. Aoyagi."_

" _I'll pass thanks."_

" _Now you know that that isn't how this program works. Everyone has to share; this is a safe space and nothing said here will leave the group."_

" _Ugh….fine…"_

" _Thank you. Now, please, go ahead."_

" _My name is Aoyagi Ritsuka. I am twenty one years old and…I'm a drug addict."_

_*silence*_

" _Go on Mr. Aoyagi."_

" _Does all this really matter?"_

" _Yes it does. In order for your healing to begin, you must confront your past to find the source of your addiction."_

" _Alright alright. Well…my father left us when I was very young; my older brother and I were raised by our mother. She wasn't really much of a mother though…she was always distant. When she was with us though, she was usually very violent, but only towards me. I remember always going to school with cuts or bruises that I had to hide from my classmates."_

" _And how did you deal with that?"_

" _I just did…my brother was always there for me. He was the one that raised me and cleaned my wounds. He always told me to run but I never did; I'm not a coward."_

" _So you and your brother were close?"_

" _Yeah…he was the only source of stability in my younger years but…he died when I was twelve."_

" _So how were things at home after that?"_

" _More or less the same. Mother was more distant and more violent, but I always just accepted my role as her outlet for most of my teenage years until I moved out six years ago."_

" _Why do you think you allowed yourself to endure that instead of seeking help?"_

" _Well…I guess…I guess somewhere deep down all I wanted was her love…so I accepted what I could get from her."_

" _Is that what made you turn to drugs? Your mother's abuse?"_

" _No…it wasn't just that…"_

" _Do you think you know what else may have triggered your drug use?"_

" _Yeah…"_

" _Please, share with the group."_

"… _My…my brother…"_

" _Your brother?"_

" _My whole life…I had looked up to him. I trusted him and I loved him. He was the only one that was there for me and loved me when no one else did. Then he died…how…how could he…"_

" _Ritsuka…people come and go from our lives, it is inevitable. You can't continue to harbor anger towards him for that."_

" _No! You don't know anything!"_

" _Well please enlighten us."_

" _It's not that he died. When I was twelve…I met someone. He was weird and always said weird things, but I became very close to him and he brought me into a whole new world that I never knew existed. He taught me so much about myself and my strange world but…in my new world I learned who my brother truly was…"_

" _And who was he truly?"_

" _A monster…my brother hurt people all around him. He raped, beat and even killed people. I then learned that he had even faked his death all those years before and when he returned…he hurt me, physically…emotionally. On one occasion he actually left me locked inside a school building for days. Once I entered my new world, I learned that the brother that I knew and loved was a complete lie…everything about him was a lie."_

" _How did this make you feel Ritsuka?"_

" _Betrayed, hurt…alone…"_

" _And how do drugs make you feel?"_

" _Numb, like the lies don't hurt anymore."_

" _And what made you come to rehab Ritsuka?"_

" _Pride, ego, desperation….Soubi…"_

_*silence*_

" _Ritsuka? Ritsuka….? Ritsuka…?"_

"Ritsuka?"

"Huh? What?" Ritsuka was finally suddenly snapped out of his unwanted flashback by the sultry sound of Soubi's voice, but was slightly embarrassed to see the worried and confused expression on his face.

"You stopped eating…and you weren't answering me."

"It was nothing Soubi, just don't worry about it. I'm sorry." Ritsuka's tone had now switched to a slightly irritated and detached one that only worried Soubi further.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine Soubi."

"Alright…"

Soubi was still worried, but upon seeing Ritsuka return his meal, he did his best to brush it off and continue eating his own meal. All seemed like it was back to some sort of normality as the duo continued their meal but the peace was short lived as Soubi suddenly stood quickly from the table, rattling his bowl as he did. The sudden movement took Ritsuka by surprise and he was quick to respond.

"Soubi! What's wrong?" Soubi was silent for a short moment and Ritsuka noticed that his gaze was fixed firmly at the large bay window of their living room.

"Someone is close by." Soubi's tone was a very serious one and he spoke in a quiet voice, sending Ritsuka into an alerted state and he quickly stood from the table as well.

"You mean a battle pair?" Ritsuka had now also shifted into a very serious tone.

"Yes."

"Can you tell who it is? Or if it involves us or just something happening nearby?"

"I can't make out who it is…but their battle systems have just been engaged. They have also stopped moving less than a mile away. It is only one unit." This caused Ritsuka to calmly walk to be by Soubi's side before speaking in a calm manner.

"What should we do?"

"Well I believe someone might be challenging us, but it is your call." Ritsuka then remained silent in thought for a short moment.

"How powerful?"

"Very." Soubi then turned his gaze from the window to await his master's command which came in a stern tone.

"Let's go." Those words were all Soubi needed to make a bee line for the door in full defense mode.

"Right. I've pinpointed their location; they are at the park."

"Alright; let's go see what this is all about."

"Understood."

With that the duo abandoned their meal and were out the door in a matter of moments, fully prepared for anything they might encounter. It was only about ten minutes before Soubi's finely tuned senses led them to a large clearing in the woods of the park nearby their home. Once they arrived, they were both fully on their guard and each looked around in all directions for the source of the energy flowing all around them. Ritsuka quickly became irritated when he couldn't see any other person around but, due to his now heightened senses, he could sense the energy. They continued to wait in absolute silence, listening for any tiny sound, until an eerie laughter followed by a familiar voice finally rang through both of their ears.

"So…the rumors are true then: Loveless is back on the map. How was your little vacation?" This snide comment riled Ritsuka up even more and he called out to the voice that hid somewhere beyond the tree line.

"Show yourself coward! If you intend to challenge us, then do it properly!"

"Fine, have it your way." Ritsuka and Soubi both then watched on as two figures emerged from the darkness. Soubi then gritted his teeth in anger when he saw the tall, slender, dark haired man that he had come to loath with an incredible passion, followed closely behind by a slightly shorter light haired man that he was also not so fond of. It was Ritsuka whoever, who was the first to address the duo with an irritated and slightly condescending tone.

"Nisei…Yurio…I wasn't aware that either one of you were still alive, let alone battling together." Ritsuka then gave a small smug chuckle at the sight causing Nisei to sneer and spit an angry reply.

"What's so funny you damn brat?"

"Oh I just find it ironic that you, one who was so disgusted by a fighter taking a new Sacrifice, have now yourself taken a new Sacrifice now that Seimei is dead." Nisei then changed his sneer into a cocky smirk before replying.

"Well you now…no reason to stop fighting if I don't have to."

"I see…well to each his own I suppose. But I must say…the name Beloved is so unfitting for you both, especially you Yurio." This caused Nisei's smaller partner to let out a small growl before spiting his retort.

"You know nothing."

"You're right I don't. So why don't you enlighten me a little huh? What happened to your last fighter…? Hideo was it?"

"That's none of your damn business!"

"Fine fine. No need to shout. Let's just cut to the chase then shall we? What do you two want?" Nisei was the one to answer this in a bold tone.

"We are here to make sure that you are wiped off of the face of the planet for good this time." Ritsuka let out a condescending laugh at this.

"Oh really now? You really think you can beat us?" Nisei then shot Ritsuka a nasty glare.

"I do actually. After all…you are just an addict whose name doesn't even match his Sentouki." This comment truly infuriated Ritsuka, but he would never let it show, and instead simply smirked confidently.

"Well…bring it on then." Neither Nisei nor Yurio was pleased with Ritsuka tone and Nisei scowled at the boy before stepping forward slightly to close the distance between them by a few feet.

"We declare this to be a battle of spells!" Soubi then quickly stepped forward to be slightly in front on Ritsuka.

"We accept!" With those words spoken, a large battle radius quickly expanded all around them, encasing them in a large bubble of sorts. As soon as the battle radius had expanded, Soubi sent words flying at lightning speed.

" _Shatter! Rip! Tear our enemy to pieces!"_ These words manifested hundreds of glowing shards to hurdle towards Yurio at incredible speed; so fast in fact, that the attack landed before Nisei could utter a single syllable, causing a large glowing restraint to shoot up from the ground and clamp down firmly onto Yurio's neck. This unexpected turn of events caused Nisei to scowl in disgust as he called out to the tall blonde opposite him.

"How did you do that Soubi? You've never been that fast!" Soubi stayed completely silent and instead allowed his Sacrifice to answer with a cocky smirk.

"You're right…he wasn't; but what you don't know Nisei…" Ritsuka then paused for a moment to give Soubi a silent affirming look. Nisei then watched on curiously as the opposing duo simultaneously rolled up the left sleeve of their shirts to reveal a matching name in elegant cursive letters running up their forearms: Loveless. "…is that Soubi is truly my Sentouki." This came as a complete shock to both Nisei and Yurio; and Nisei was almost speechless.

"W-what…?" Ritsuka was truly reveling in the expression on his enemies face and that expression alone was enough to make him completely forget his sordid past and damaged ego, and now only fueled his pride and enthusiasm.

"That's right…Soubi is stronger than ever because of me. Seimei could have never taken Soubi to this level…he was a failure."

"Shut your mouth brat! Don't you dare talk about Seimei that way!" This only caused Ritsuka to chuckle smugly.

"Oh did I hurt your feelings? It's time to face the facts Nisei, Seimei is dead and gone and all he left behind was a foul reputation and a broken Sentouki." Nisei was now completely silenced by his rage and Yurio finally spoke up to snap him out of it.

"Nisei! Don't listen to him; he is only trying to rile you up. Show him what we can do!" This seemed to finally snap the distraught fighter out of daze and he was quick to send words flying with a furious anger.

" _Rupture! Rip the enemy to shreds!"_

_"Resolve! Nothing can reach us!"_ Soubi's defense was lightning quick and blew away the oncoming attack before it even came close to Ritsuka. This only angered Nisei further, so much so that he continued on the offensive in a blind rage.

_"_ _Shred! Crush! Absolute Destruction! Leave absolutely nothing left of my enemy!"_ As if to add insult to injury, Soubi remained still and silent for a brief moment as a large wave of pulsating energy came hurdling towards Ritsuka. He waited patiently and calmly until Ritsuka gave the command at exactly the right moment.

"Now Soubi!" As soon as the command was given, Soubi raised a defiant hand toward the attack before speaking in a firm voice.

_"_ _Reflect! Intensify by one thousand and return to our enemy!"_ Then in the blink of an eye, before he knew what had happened, Nisei saw his attack stop dead before glowing brighter and transforming into a wall of crackling flames and begin flying back towards his own Sacrifice.

"D-damn it! No! _Defense and Solidify!"_ Nisei's defense was easily flattened by Soubi's overwhelming power and the attack hit its mark perfectly. It was then only a matter of seconds before Yurio was completely restrained, causing the battle radius to burst and dissolve away, leaving Yurio barely conscious on the ground.

"Victory." With Soubi's final word, Nisei fell helplessly to his knees in shock, completely ignoring his injured Sacrifice. Nisei remained there, completely speechless, until Ritsuka finally walked over to look down at him triumphantly.

"How does it feel? To be the one beaten and alone."

"Just shut it already…"

"No I won't. I want to know Nisei. You must be jealous…now I'm the one holding all the cards, I'm the one with a true partner of my own, and I'm the one that will take away the things you love…" This finally caused Nisei to look up from the ground to look up into Ritsuka's sinister expression with wide eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Ritsuka then put on a devilish smirk as he turned his gazed to the gasping man on the ground only a few feet away. He then began to slowly walk towards him as he continued to speak to Nisei in an eerie tone.

"Oh you don't remember? That night all those years ago, when you and Seimei ambushed me right here in this park…and took Soubi from me." Nisei then watched on with a bitter scowl as Ritsuka took Yurio by his blonde locks and lifted him up onto his wobbly legs, causing him to groan in pain as he did. This sight was enough to send a chill of fear down Nisei's spine and he quickly rose to his feet; even though Yurio was not his true Sacrifice, he still felt the bond that ties a Sentouki and a Sacrifice.

"Ritsuka…I was acting under Seimei's command, you know all too well how he influences people. Now…please just put him down." Ritsuka ignored this request and instead wrenched the injured man's head backwards causing him to cry out slightly.

"I was a child! You knew what you were doing! Besides…I know it was Seimei that took Soubi from me…but it was you that took great care to stay behind and revel in my pain…you're just as sadistic as he was." Nisei let out a deep growl at this and attempted to step forward and take his Sacrifice from the boy holding him, but he was quickly stopped when Soubi grabbed him by the collar of the shirt, holding him in place. This earned Soubi another deep growl and an angry glare from the dark haired man before he returned his attention to Ritsuka.

"So what is it that you want Ritsuka? What are you trying to prove?!"

"Oh I have nothing to prove to anyone. All I want is for you to feel the pain that you have afflicted on so many others…" Ritsuka then gave a very sinister smirk as he moved his free arm to coil tightly around Yurio's neck causing him to gasp for air. "…I want to take something precious of yours away from you."

"No! Stop it!" Nisei was now desperately trying to break free of Soubi's grasp as Yurio began to grab and claw at Ritsuka's strong arm that was tightening even further around his wind pipe; Ritsuka laughing slightly all the while.

"It doesn't feel so good to be the helpless one does it Nisei?"

"No it doesn't ok! Please don't kill him!" Ritsuka then gave one last smirk before dropping the blonde to the ground, who began coughing and gasping for air.

"I'm not going to kill him…I'm not my brother. I'm better than him and I'm better than you." Nisei let out a small sigh of relief before quickly returning to a slightly panicked and confused state.

"What the hell do you want you crazy brat?! Why are you doing this?!" This caused a very scary expression to cross Ritsuka's face as he began to walk towards the man that Soubi was still holding hostage, until he was only inches from his face.

"Why…? You…you have no idea what I have been through…what Seimei has put me through. Even in death he haunts me and his words nag at the back of my brain. That man…that monster, has brutalized me and everyone that I have ever loved…and you have been the tool of his atrocities." Nisei then watched on in horror as Ritsuka's expression turned into one of pure madness and he was suddenly let go by Soubi, only to be caught by the collar of his jacket by the boy in front of him. "But you know what the funny part is…even though I am the one that paid the price for everything that Seimei has ever done; every single thing he has done to me has only made me stronger. My time in rehab taught me that."

R-Ritsuka…I-I'm sorry for everything…" This pitiful sentiment only caused Ritsuka to burst out in a sinister laughter.

"You can drop the act Nisei, I'm done with your games." This did indeed cause Nisei to return to his usual snide sneer.

"Fine…but are you done with the lecture yet?"

"Oh I'm just about finished. There is just one last thing that I need to do…" The tone in Ritsuka's voice snapped Soubi out of his obedient silence to try and get through to his Sacrifice, who he could see was slipping into a dark place.

"Ritsuka…I think you've made your point. Let him go and let's go home. He isn't worth it." Ritsuka was none too pleased with this interruption and shot his Sentouki a fiery glare.

"No Soubi! This is something I need to do."

"No you don't. I thought that your time at the clinic dealt with all these feelings." Soubi's tone was now a very pleading one.

"It did…but some things can't be forgiven. You know far too well what he has put us both through."

"Ritsuka please…don't." The look in Soubi's eyes caused Ritsuka to let out an angry sigh before releasing the collar of Nisei's jacket, letting him fall to the ground. Ritsuka then walked over to be right by Soubi's side.

"Soubi…do you remember what you told me? What it was like being used by Seimei. Don't you remember how they both treated you? Holding you captive and using Seimei's influence over you at will." These words sunk deep into Soubi's heart and memories of the past quickly came flooding back, one in particular.

"I do remember all that Ritsuka…but I have put all of that in my past…"

"But Sou-" Ritsuka's words were quickly cut off by the blonde who now looked at him with a fierce spark in his eyes.

"But I will never forget the day I was taken from you…" Ritsuka was then slightly surprised to see Soubi take a few steps before taking Nisei's collar into his large hands, pulling him up to eye level. "It was you that sent me that picture…I'll never forget the sight of Ritsuka alone and crying. You did that…and I'll never forgive you." This quickly caused Ritsuka to return to his darker side and he stepped forward to be standing next to Soubi and looking into Nisei's frightened eyes with a wide sinister smile.

"So what shall his punishment be Soubi?" Soubi replied with a calm tone and a stern expression with his eyes never leaving Nisei's.

"I have an idea…" Soubi then once again dropped the now genuinely frightened man to the ground before extending a hand and placing a single finger gently on his forehead.

_"_ _Suffocation…steal every breathe from these lungs."_ Ritsuka was more than pleased to hear these words from his Sentouki and couldn't help but to add a snide remark.

"Now don't you see…I'm the best at what I do." Nisei's eyes then grew wide in panic as it slowly became harder and harder to breath. Yurio could only watch on and call out to his Sentouki from his own place on the ground.

"Nisei!" Ritsuka and Soubi both completely ignored the man's cry and kept their eyes fixed on their victim. Ritsuka watched on happily has Nisei gasped desperately for air and his face grew pale. He then waited until Nisei was taking his final few breathes to lean down to whisper to him in a sinister voice, the last words he would ever hear.

"When you see Seimei, tell him…I'll see him in hell."

 


	7. Ready to Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ello! Next track! And for the sake of this one I've changed the time setting of cannon to present day.
> 
> Rating:T
> 
> Song: 'Fully Alive' by Flyleaf
> 
> Thanks again for reading!
> 
> -Shuichi77-

At the first break of dawn following a final bloody battle at the Seven Moons Academy, a small team began to pick through the rubble in search of survivors. Ritsuka Aoyagi led a second team in on-going effort to uncover the facts of what happened during the battle. Ritsuka began the second day of his work, in the most northern building of the complex that originally housed roughly one dozen student dorm rooms as well as Minami Ritsu's private living dorm. After some time of digging through the buildings remains, Ritsuka set eyes on something shimmering in the sunlight. He stepped over a pile of fallen bricks to see that it was clasp of a small journal buried beneath some bits of charred wood from what he assumed was a desk of some sort. He carefully dug out the small book before brushing away the dust and dirt to see, much to his surprise, that written on it was only a name: Agatsuma Soubi. Ritsuka's curiosity quickly got the better of him and he unclicked the clasp with slightly shaky hands, and turned the cover.

June 3rd, 2000

We just returned from the funeral…I stood at mother and father's graves for what felt like hours. I thought the pain would last forever but my tears stopped after some time. I just stood there…wishing mother would just come home, until the sun started to set and I began to wonder if I could even go home. I thought about it for a while, but before I decided for sure, someone placed a hand on my shoulder. It was mother's Sacrifice, Mr. Ritsu. He told me that I would be coming to stay with him for a while at the school. I've only met him a few times but he has always been nice to me and always protected mother so well…I don't see any harm in staying with him; it's not like I have any other place to go. I've only just settled into my room now. It's right next door to his and its really nice and big, bigger than my room at home; I don't think it will be that bad here. But I still wonder…what will happen now?

June 12th, 2000

I started school here today. Ritsu says it's for the best that I get my education here, so I can learn to be a great Sentouki just like my mother. I'm enjoying my classes so far, they are much more interesting than the classes at my regular school. I'm having some trouble staying awake though…I haven't been sleeping very well since the funeral. I keep having awful nightmares about that night; they wake me up all night in a cold sweat. I still feel like I could have done something to save them…but Ritsu keeps telling me that there was nothing I could have done. Ritsu Sensei has turned out to be a very nice person. He has been taking really good care of me since I've been here. He orders me whichever foods I want instead of the food made here and has taken me shopping three times already. I'm starting to see why mother always said he was such a good partner.

July 1st, 2000

The nightmares have finally started to go away…but now I'm having a different kind of nightmare. I've been trying to be more social and make friends here but…no one seems to like me. I have nothing in common with the people here. I've never been interested in idols, pop culture or fashion so I can't relate with any of them. I spend most of my time now studying or doing things with Ritsu Sensei. He says that I don't need friends like that and if I study hard and become the best Sentouki then I will be better than all of them. I've been meaning to ask Sensei a question though…all the other students keep calling me 'blank'. I'm not sure what it means exactly but they make it sound like it's not very good…

July 2nd, 2000

Tonight I asked Sensei why the other students call me blank. He explained to me about true names and how they bind one person to another by fate as a battle pair. Then he said that sometimes, not very often, a person is born without a true name or a true partner and they call them a 'blank'. It sounded really bad at first and I was really upset but Sensei told me that it isn't a bad thing. He said that it just means that I can focus on getting stronger and then I can get paired with a Sacrifice of my own. He told me, 'you aren't bound by a name or fate…you have the freedom of choice'. So I think being blank isn't so bad after all.

July 31st, 2000

We had final exams today and I passed all of them and am now the top of my class. Sensei said he is so proud of me and that tomorrow he will take me into the city to go shopping for the start of summer. I know mother would be proud to see that I'm doing so well. Sensei said my advanced training starts as soon as summer is over though…he hasn't told me exactly what that means yet, but I really think I can do it. I know I can.

September 17th, 2000

I had a really nice summer vacation. I spent a lot of time at the beach and in the city with Sensei. I also got a lot of studying done and I think I'm ready for my advanced training tomorrow.

October 1st, 2000

I'm so exhausted all the time…this advanced training is really taking it out of me. I thought it would be a whole class but it's only one on one sessions with Ritsu Sensei. I think I actually like not being in the classroom but the training itself is really hard and I wasn't prepared at all. I thought studying all the books was the best idea but Sensei isn't training me on any of them. He is teaching me things like how to be a good Sentouki for my master, how to follow orders and how to conquer fear and pain. It's probably all much more practical…but I still wish there was a textbook.

October 23rd, 2000

My advanced lessons aren't going well…I miss mother.

December 24th, 2000

My first Christmas without them has been hard. It won't be the same without waking up to mom's breakfast and father's horribly wrapped presents. At least I have Ritsu Sensei… and the winter break has been nice without any classes or private lessons. I know I have to get better so that Sensei will be proud.

February 15th, 2001

Valentine's Day really is a pointless holiday. Everyone spent the entire day swooning over their partners and exchanging chocolates. I decided to study instead; I'm still having some trouble getting past my pain and Sensei's lessons have only gotten harder…

May 12th, 2001

I cried during a lesson for the first time today. I wasn't able to fight back the pain when he used my parents death to get me unfocused but Sensei said the only way to get over pain is to face it head on and rise above it. I think he will be harder on me now.

September 29th, 2001

Today is my birthday; I'm fourteen now. It doesn't really seem like it though…there wasn't a party or presents; only books and training. Sensei doesn't really seem to care much about birthdays in general and I think he didn't even know it was my birthday until I said something. The weird part was that he didn't even say happy birthday to me, he just looked at me with a smile and told me that I look more and more like my mother every day. That made me really happy to hear and to see Sensei smile that way.

November 14, 2001

Today was the last day of classes before the holiday break and I passed all my normal class exams but…Sensei hit me during my lesson today…well he didn't hit me exactly, he used a whip. It scared me at first and I had to try so hard not cry but Sensei says that it's time I get serious about training. He said now that I'm getting older he doesn't have to go easy on me and I need to get used to real pain. After the initial confusion, it seemed to make sense. I know Sensei would never really hurt me and he wouldn't do anything that wasn't good for me and my training. Still…I wonder if I'll be able to really conquer the pain.

January 5th, 2002

The new semester started today and our first lesson was about the bond between Sacrifice and Sentouki. It didn't bother me too much at first but after my first class, we did a school wide exercise. The instructions came over the loud speaker and all the Sacrifices were instructed to hide somewhere far from their partner, then then the Sentouki had to find them in complete darkness. I asked one of my classmates how they planned on finding their partner and he told me about the thin spiritual thread that connects a Sentouki and Sacrifice. He told me that they can focus in on it and follow to their partner, that way a Sentouki can always find their partner. When the lights went off I foolishly tried to participate but of course, there was no such thread for me so I was told that I could return to my room. I felt like such an idiot for even thinking that I could have such a thing.

June 26th, 2002

My classes are finally starting to be a challenge for me and I've spent any and all of my free time studying and training. I'm really enjoying the challenge; I was really starting to get bored with my regular lessons. My private lessons with Sensei have been going better now too. I'm able now to push the pain aside and focus of my goal; I refuse to lose sight of my dreams now that I've come this far. I won't stop until I'm the strongest Sentouki alive and have a partner of my own. Although, I think Sensei is starting to give me scars…hopefully they will heal.

September 1st, 2002

This summer was awful. Sensei has been very busy lately and won't tell me exactly why; he just keeps telling me that he has been having problems with one of the professors here, Nagisa. I'm not sure what she could be doing that causes him so much trouble but I tried not to bother him about it too much. Since I had more free time this summer, I tried again to make some friends here but it didn't work out. I still just can't get along with the people here; they all care too much about playing and slacking off instead of their school work. They all think I'm odd since I don't care for same things as they do and this summer I learned that they only want to hang out with other battle pairs, not a blank like me…and I'm the only one. So I decided to take up painting. I spent most of the summer going into the city to get supplies and just painting in my room. I'm not very good but I really like it and it helps me to relax and work on my focus. I wonder what Sensei will think.

December 21st, 2002 (2:00 am)

I just woke up in cold sweat after a dream that I can't seem to remember but I've just noticed the strangest thing and…I just don't know what to do or think. It was pitch black in my room and I saw a strange flicker of light by my windowsill. I got up to look but didn't see anything but then I saw it again on my sleep shirt. I moved to the side thinking it was the moon light reflecting off one of my buttons but it didn't move. I was very confused and tried to focus on it in the darkness and then I saw it, dimly at first but hen very clear. It was a thread…my thread! I still don't know what it means but I can't wait to tell Sensei.

December 22nd, 2002

Yesterday I told Sensei about seeing my thread…he wasn't happy. He told me that I was just seeing things but I insisted that I wasn't. He said that I was a blank and that I had to accept that. That was the first time that I ever saw him genuinely angry at me and I don't understand why. He made me stay all night for my lesson and made me train all night. He was very hard on me…I know this time I'll have scars. Despite the pain, deeper cuts and disappointment I was still able to rise above my pain and focus on the orders given and executing them perfectly. I still think that I saw my thread…but maybe he is right.

July 12th, 2003

It's already been a long year. My classes haven't harder, but I've still been able to stay at the top of my class. There is better news though: Sensei just told me that he has found the perfect Sacrifice for me and I am going to meet him in a few days. I'm nervous…but excited.

July 15th, 2003

I met my Sacrifice today. His name is Aoyagi Seimei. He is about the same age as I am, shorter than me but he seems so much older. He had an air about me that I'm not sure what to make of; it was like a pressure when he entered the room. His smile though…it was almost hypnotizing. I was so excited for this day for so long but it turned out to be somewhat disappointing. Despite what Sensei says, I can still see the thread that connects me to my partner, so I focused on it today when I was waiting for Seimei to arrive. I was just waiting for the wave of relief that I would feel when I saw him and the connection that linked us…but when he walked in, I could see the thin filament go right past him and down the hallway. The disappointment was hard but the strangest part was that I could see a similar thread attached to Seimei that didn't lead to me either. I'm not sure what any of this means but I know that now I have to focus on being a good partner. Luckily Sensei says that I won't be given to Seimei for a couple more years. I still have more training to do and Sensei wants me to graduate before I can become Seimei's.

October 10th, 2003

I've been focusing on my painting a lot lately and I think I'm getting pretty good. Sensei wishes that I wouldn't paint as much but he hasn't really told me not to, so I'll continue until he tells me to stop. He has been acting strange lately…he wants to spend more free time with me and has recently starting talking about mother a lot. I think maybe he misses her, I know that I do. I think that also might explain why he always tells me how much I look like her. I don't mind it really and it's nice to get out of my room anyway. I just find it strange how he can be this way with me when class is over but be so harsh, and sometimes cruel, to me during our lessons.

December 30th, 2003

It's…so hard to write right now…but something happened tonight. I had my private lessons with Sensei today…but he mostly just wanted to talk about how I was feeling. I had no reason not to tell him that I was having some trouble with pain management if my emotions are running high. I told him that it's hard and sometimes impossible not to feel the pain while I'm scared or upset. He didn't seem angry or upset at me but he told me that I would never be able to be Seimei's Sentouki if I couldn't control my emotions and let them get in my way. He said that I needed to able to forget my emotions and only feel Seimei's words and live by them. I told him that I didn't know how and he said that…that it was because I was still a child. I didn't understand at first but he made it very clear. Then Sensei….no…Ritsu, Ritsu took my ears from me. I didn't cry, not once, and for the first time my emotions didn't allow me to feel the pain. I felt nothing…I feel nothing. It's just emptiness now. I have nothing left except my strength. I will focus on it…I will get stronger and I will be the best…and I will get out of this place. That is my only goal.

June 6th, 2005

I found this journal while packing today. I don't remember if I lost it or chose not to write any longer but I suppose it doesn't matter. Either way, I'm one step closer to my goals today. I graduated top of my class and am packing to leave. Since my last entry Ritsu has only gotten more cold and cruel than ever. My training continued with him until my last day of lessons and I've tried to keep our interactions to a minimum. I've grown to hate this place and its people. Seimei will be here soon to take me far from here…I'll make sure to never come back. Seimei is my world now and I know he will make me into a great Sentouki. Still Ritsu insists on keeping my room here available in case I ever need it. He also informed me today that he will be keeping in touch. I'll try to ignore him as best I can. I think I will leave this journal behind though. I'd rather avoid Seimei coming across it…and I'd like not to relieve these memories.

January 1st, 2008

I've come across this journal once again upon returning to the academy, very much to my distain. Ritsu has given me some sort of mission he would Seimei and I to carry out in the morning. Seimei won't give me any details, but it doesn't matter. I'll follow his orders until my last breath.

June 4th, 2008

I find myself back at the academy once more for yet another mission, but I'd prefer not to think too much about it. These missions are becoming rather untasteful. Luckily I've started art college now and it seems to be my only escape. It seems that I've traded one sadist for another however. Seimei is a great and very effective Sacrifice but his complete lack of empathy and cruel nature are not like anything I've encountered before. What's worse is his charisma and perfect ability to manipulate those around him. It makes him dangerous…but still his word is law and I will continue to follow his command without question. It still amazes me at times however, just how well his true self betrays his name…Beloved, one who is loved. A name that I bear in scars of both the flesh and spirit…given to me by my master.

March 10th, 2010

Ritsu has called me here to discuss recent events. Seimei died today. I can't explain what I'm feeling. I'm not relieved nor am I sad. Despite belonging to him for all these years, I don't feel as though anything has been taken from my life. I can't say that I'm entirely surprised by his death though. For a while now he has been rather distant and has been keeping me in the dark as to what he has been doing. He has never exactly shared information with me about his daily life but it felt different somehow. I can only guess now that he was doing something that got him killed. I do believe that he knew it was coming though. Only a couple of months ago he gave me a strange set of instructions. He told me that if anything ever happened to him that I was ordered to carry on and to locate his younger brother, Ritsuka. He ordered me to fight for him and become his. It seemed very out of character for him and it was the first time I had ever heard anything about his family, I wasn't even aware that he had a brother. I'm not sure what he intended to accomplish by this but I don't think it's good…and I am not sure if I am quite ready for another Aoyagi master. Seeing as Seimei never specified a timeline, I think I will try to focus on school and my painting for a while.

November 23rd, 2011

My classmate and roommate Kio has mentioned to me that I have been acting strange lately. He says that I seem lost in my own thoughts all the time and have been distant. I'm sure he is over reacting but still…yesterday I did notice something odd while I was working on a painting. For the first time since I was young, I saw my thread. I wasn't sure whether or not to even pay it any mind. I'm sure it's just my own mind toying with me. I made the mistake though of coming back to this forsaken place to confront Ritsu about the subject once more. He only reminded me that my Sacrifice is dead and I never had a true partner to begin with. Pointless.

January 4th, 2013

I've begun to notice my thread more and more these days. It's getting harder to ignore but my better judgment keeps from investigating. I'm also becoming very bored with the life of a college student. It's led to me to think seriously about locating Aoyagi Ritsuka. I've been using some of the resources here at the academy to begin some preliminary research on him. Maybe it's time for a change.

October 20th, 2013

Some weeks ago I was easily able to locate Ritsuka. It turns out he is still just a grade school student in a school not far from my own. I have yet to approach him or attempt to contact him. I don't understand why Seimei wants me to belong to a child but I can't seem to shake a strange feeling I get when I think about it. Maybe I will contact him soon, before my life gets any more mundane. Even if he turns out to be just another Seimei, it will at least make things interesting. On a brighter note, Ritsu has apparently taken a short leave from the academy. I'm not sure why and I don't actually care but visiting is much easier with him gone.

March 12, 2014

This will be my last time visiting this room for any reason. I've returned to collect the last of my things. I finally decided to meet Ritsuka today. He was nothing like what I was expecting. He is a sweet kid with a good heart. He holds a lot of love for Seimei and I don't think I will ever have the heart to tell him about how his brother truly was. His face lights up at the mention of his name and I refuse to take that away from him. We went to a park to make memories and unfortunately our time was ruined by a pesky pair of brats from Ritsu. I hated to put Ritsuka in that situation but I had no choice. He handled it better than expected, despite being confused and scared. I admittedly was a little nervous myself; not because of the battle but strangely for how Ritsuka would think of me. When I saw his face for the first time I felt something I hadn't felt before…it was love. From the moment I set eyes on him I knew I loved him. There is something about the way he looks at me…with confusion, fear, understanding and anxiety. It's unlike anything I've ever known. I must confess however, at least to these pages to never be seen, I let my emotions get the better of me for the first time since I was a child. I kissed him. I didn't understand it fully myself until I sensed the nearby Sentouki. When I did, I looked back at the boy that I had just met and I saw that fine shinning thread that bonds all Sentouki to their partners. I wasn't sure if it was mine or his, they were tangled together like old forgotten yarn, and then I realized that mine and his were one in the same. It began at my chest and ended at his. I then made a startling connection as I thought back to the very first night that I awoke from my sleep to see it for the first time. I made the connection that that day was twelve years ago now…on the day that Ritsuka was born. I know now that this boy has been my destiny from the day he entered this world. From the very beginning it was always him. The funniest part is that he betrays him name just as much as Seimei did. He is called Loveless, one without love…but already, I love him with my whole heart and soul. He will never be loveless.

Ritsuka then gently closed the small book as a few small tears ran down his reddened cheeks. Without a second thought he dropped it to the ground and began to run as fast as he could back to the main gate of the facility. He came up over a small hill where he set eyes on the tall blonde directing a group of workers. Ritsuka quickly pushed past them all before tightly wrapping his arms around Soubi's small waist. The blonde immediately stopped what he was doing to take Ritsuka small face delicately in a large hand and lift it up to look him in the eyes.

"Ritsuka, What's the matter? Is everything ok?" Ritsuka wiped the tears from his eyes before standing on the very tips of his toes and moving to wrap his arms around the blonde's neck and kissing him with a heated passion, not caring about the people standing all around.

"Everything is fine Soubi…I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I love you so much." The blonde gave a large warm smile at this before kissing the boy gently as he scooped him off his feet and into his arms.

"And I love you, Ritsuka."


End file.
